Pillsbury Doughboy dead at 71

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It is with saddest heart that we must pass on the following news. Join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died Tuesday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Capt. Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneeded. Doughboy was rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children; John and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 3:50 for 20 minutes.
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Two-Car Crash Closes Church Street

Staff Reports
NORTH ADAMS, Mass. — A collision between two vehicles shut down a section of Church Street on Wednesday afternoon, followed shortly afterward by a three-car accident near Specialty Minerals in Adams. 
 
The North Adams crash occurred shortly after 3:30 p.m. when a GMC Denali pickup apparently collided with a Subaru Crosstrek attempting to exit from south driveway at Southview Cemetery. 
 
The truck incurred extensive front end damage and the Crosstrek damage on the front driver's side. Scanner reports initially referred to someone having a broken arm but no one was taken to the hospital. 
 
Church Street was closed between Drury High School's entrance and the skating rink for nearly an hour until tow trucks could take the vehicles away. Drivers either turned around or cut through Southview Cemetery and the skating rink parking lot. 
 
Traffic was also disrupted by the accident on the railroad tracks in Adams. No one was apparently injured in that collision either. 
 
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