Mary Caffrey, 98

NORTH ADAMS, Mass. —  Mary Santa (Benedetti) Caffrey died at Mt Carmel Care Center in Lenox, Massachusetts on October 8, 2023 in her 99th year. She was born in the Hoosac Tunnel section of Rowe, Massachusetts, the youngest of 8 children of Severino Cesare Benedetti and Elisabetta Rosà, both immigrants from the Tirolo section of Austria, now part of Italy.

She moved with her family to North Adams in 1931 where her father worked as a foreman for the Boston and Maine Railroad. Her mother died of typhoid fever in Italy in 1937 shortly after arriving there on her first return since immigrating to the US. The sudden loss of her mother in this way left an indelible mark.

Mary attended public schools in North Adams, graduating in 1942 from Drury High School. Ignoring the objections of her father, who felt that women need not attend college, she attended the State Teachers College of North Adams (now Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts) and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in 1946.

She then taught second grade in North Adams for five years until her marriage to Joseph Francis Caffrey, Jr., also of North Adams. Because the school where she taught didn’t like married teachers she transferred to another where she taught kindergarten for two years before resigning to start her family. She and Joe had six sons. The long hoped for girl, to be named Bettina after Mary’s mother, never arrived.

After her youngest son entered kindergarten in 1972 Mary returned to elementary education as a substitute, then teaching assistant at the Sullivan School in North Adams. She retired in 2005 at age 80.

In retirement she enjoyed time with friends, traveling in the US and Europe to visit family and, inexplicably, a large collection of toy frogs.

As was normal to her generation, Mary was active in multiple community organizations including the Catholic Daughters of America Court Margaret where she served as regent; the Republican Party in North Adams; St. Francis of Assisi, St Anthony of Padua, and Saint Elizabeth of Hungary churches in North Adams; the North Adams Garden Club; and multiple local school and sports activities and fundraisers.

She leaves six sons: Joseph and his partner Rae Springer of Sugarloaf Key, Florida; James and wife Kathie of Dalton, Massachusetts; Timothy and wife Marisa of San Antonio, Texas; Michael and wife Sue of Bridgeville, Pennsylvania; Peter and wife Cheryl of Chelsea, Michigan; and Thomas and wife Kathy of Glenville, NY; 23 surviving nieces and nephews; 15 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren, Jake and Sydnie Grubba of Jupiter, Florida, and Nieve and Magno Cusi of Big Coppitt Key, Florida.

She is predeceased by a daughter-in-law, Wende Caffrey (Joe); 3 brothers and 4 sisters: William, Henry, and Rudy Benedetti, and Amy Zocchi, Debe Law, Livia Primmer, and Alma Benedetti.

Her husband of 39 years, Joseph Francis Caffrey, Jr died in 1990.

As she neared her final days Mary, in typical fashion, requested that her coffin be not too expensive, that her six sons serve as pallbearers, and that family and friends get together after the funeral at the Freight Yard Pub. She concluded that conversation with: “Give me a big hug and call it quits”.

A Funeral Mass will be celebrated at St. Elizabeth of Hungary Parish in North Adams at 11:00 AM on Friday, October 27 with burial in the Caffrey family plot at Southview Cemetery. And, per Mary’s request, a reception will follow from 1 to 4 PM at the Freight Yard Pub in North Adams.

The family wishes to thank Cory Ciepiela and her team and Holly DeWitt for the care they provided to allow Mary to remain in her home in her last years and the staffs of Mt Carmel Care Center and HospiceCare in the Berkshires for their care in her final months.

Donations in Mary’s name may be made to the St. Elizabeth of Hungary Parish Capital Campaign or to the Catholic Daughters of America in care of FLYNN & DAGNOLI-MONTAGNA HOME FOR FUNERALS CENTRAL CHAPEL, 74 Marshall St. North Adams, MA 01247. To add to the Book of Memories, please visit www.flynndagnolifuneralhomes.com.