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EMS: Courage and Compassion in ActionBy Shawn Godfrey - July 16, 2007
 | | Shawn Godfrey is a certified paramedic and the operations manager for the Village Ambulance Service Inc. in Williamstown |
If the Emergency Medical Services trade had fortune cookies, here’s what some might say:
You will lose important papers soon.
(Don't let that “Do Not Resuscitate” form out of your sight)
It might be that your sole purpose in life is to be a
bad example to others.
In uniform, you are cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
You're not anti-social. You're just really not a people person.
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
Your patients put the 'fun' in dysfunctional.
Old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
It's hard to kill the stupid. For some reason they're tougher than others.
It's only funny until somebody loses an eye. Then, it's “My eye!”
My parents told me I could be anything. So I became an a**hole.
The circus wouldn't hire me, so I became a Paramedic.
Try to see things from your patients' point of view.
Good luck getting your head back out of you’re a**.
There's no sense in being pessimistic. It wouldn't work, anyway.
If I got smart with you, how would you know?
I used to care, but now I take pills for that.
Sarcasm - Just one more service I offer.
Your EMS village called; their idiot is missing.
If you do it right the first time, nobody can appreciate how difficult it was.
You will attract uncultured people to your ambulance.
You can't fall off the floor…Duh!
Your sense of humor will be sorely tried by the 3 a.m. drunk.
If you drop the baby, pick it back up or fake a seizure.
Lift with your legs, not your back.
Shock me once, shame on you. Shock me again, I'm kicking your a**!
All bleeding will eventually stop.
Sleep is highly overrated.
Beware the one who utters the "Q" word, for he shall suffer
the wrath of a vengeful paramedic.
Everybody is related in a small town.
EMS = Earn Money Sleeping
Reality is for those who can't handle psych meds.
I must be having vision problems, because I don't see that happening.
You just can't cure stupid.
Laughter is the best medicine.
75 percent of assault victims deserved it.
If it feels good to say it, it's probably wrong.
Patients that crash in separate vehicles should be
transported in separate vehicles.
Sometimes it's better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission.
It only hurts until the pain goes away.
When uncertain, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. Then call 9-1-1.
There's no such thing as a bad call. However, there ARE calls that don't fit into the protocol, and don't go the way you plan.
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean that your supervisor isn't hiding around the corner.
The patient always expands on his medical history and medications list with each upgrade in care providers.
Never turn your back on a Proctologist.
Never bring your ambulance to a gun fight, at least until it's over.
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| Commercial EMS = Shucks for Bucks | | from: Heath | on: 07-20-2007 |
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| Have you ever heard of the rule of 3's? The 3am, 300 lb person on the 3rd floor. | | from: Heath | on: 07-20-2007 |
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| G.O.M.E.R. = Get Out of My Emergency Room | | from: Heath | on: 07-20-2007 |
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| Silly, but refreshing to see the lighter side of the trade. | | from: Jorge | on: 07-17-2007 |
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| What exactly IS the "Q" word?? ;) | | from: wendy | on: 07-16-2007 |
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