Leap Year has never made sense to me. We have entered into the 21st century. We are a people of such impressive science and technology that we can talk to people across the globe, fly over the clouds and put aspirin into a container that no human being on earth can open without a hammer. And we measure things precisely — astronomers watch the rotation and revolution of various planets and moons, while an atomic clock ticks away the milliseconds to measure the exact amount of time everything takes. In spite of all this, once every four years, we have to throw in an entire extra day to keep things on track.
Doesn't this seem a bit slapdash to you? We're going to take great pains to keep track of every second, and then once every four years, "Pardon me, do you mind if we just toss in an extra 86,400 seconds here?" This is a hopelessly antiquated method of reckoning time. It was invented centuries ago in 1582, long before the digital watch. If you took a roomful of students at Drury or Lee high schools, gave them a four-year span to divide into four equal parts as homework, and they came back with a "leap year" concept, you'd flunk them. Especially that kid Greg Orian, who I suspect is behind the whole thing. I honestly think that we can do much better, but it requires a radical solution. I said it last leap year and I'll say it again: It's Metric Time!
What is Metric Time, you ask? Well, consider the metric system as a whole in comparison to our system. Length: We have 12 inches to the foot, 3 feet to the yard, 843 yards to the North Adams residential neighborhood. Metric system: meter, centimeter, kilometer. All tens. Fluid measurements: We have two pints to the quart, 6 pints to the Kennedy, and 8 pints to the gallon. Metric system: milliliter, liter. All tens. Weight: We have 16 ounces to the pound, 2,000 pounds to the ton and 16 tons to another year older and deeper in debt. Metric system: milligrams, grams, kilograms. All tens. See a pattern?
We are currently keeping track of time in a similarly confusing manner: 60 seconds to the minute, 60 minutes to the Andy Rooney, 24 hours to the 7-11, etc. Why not create a simpler ten-based system for reckoning time? We throw out this ridiculous "day" concept and replace it with a decimal system based on something I like to call a "chron," in honor of Chronos, the god of time. A chron would be equal to just a little more than eight of these "hour" things that people persist in using.
Once we're measuring in centichrons and kilochrons, this preposterous leap year concept will no longer be necessary. No more of the poor leap-year babies, doomed to not reach drinking age until 84! No more constant confusion over what date follows Feb. 28! No more staring at an analog clock in uncomprehension, wondering why when the minute hand is on 9, the time may not have any nines in it! Imagine instead a world where our time was measured with a decimal system, so we could keep track on our fingers. A world where school children didn't have to waste half of second grade trying to figure out clock problems. A world where the very idea of throwing a "leap year" into every fourth year as a corrective measure would be a laughable absurdity.
Now, I know that in spite of the obvious superiority of the metric system, most Americans haven't accepted it. We fought the Revolutionary War to escape from beneath the oppressive foot of an English king, and yet we still measure things by that king's oppressive foot. It's possible that we just may not be ready for metric time today.
But tomorrow, my friends, is another chron — er, make that three chrons.
Seth Brown is a freelance humor writer based in North Adams who tries to put his best meter forward. He is a frequent contributor to the Washington Post's Style Invitational and, like everyone else, is working on a book.
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Dalton Water Chief Says Lead in Lines Unlikely
By Sabrina DammsiBerkshires Staff
DALTON, Mass. — Some residents received an "alarming" notice from the Water Department about the possibility of lead pipes or solder in some homes, but officials assured them not to worry.
The notice is a result of a new rule from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency at the federal level to ensure that there is no lead in anybody's drinking water, Town Manager Thomas Hutcheson said during a Select Board meeting last week.
"Going forward, there's additional regulations regarding that, and the water district has sent out letters … that says you may have lead pipes. They will be conducting surveys to find out what the extent of the issue is," he said.
Later that week, during a Board of Health meeting, Water Department Superintendent Bob Benlien emphasized that the notice was not an indication of a lead issue in the water system.
The notice was required by the state to help the town gather more data to determine the materials used in the service lines, he said.
"It's not saying that we have lead in the water. It's not saying that we have lead in the pipe. It just says that we don't have all of our water lines documented," Benlien said.
Part of the water treatment process is doing corrosion control and pH adjustments to the water to minimize the risk of lead and copper leaching into the water.
Monument Mountain's Everett Pacheco took control of the race in the final mile and went on to a convincing Division 3 State Championship on Saturday at Fort Devens. click for more
Mila Marcisz ripped a shot from the top of the 18 that slipped just under the swing of teammate Adele Low and past the Mustangs keeper in the fourth minute of the second overtime to give Mount Greylock a 1-0 win. click for more
Mount Greylock dominated for much of the game, compiling a 17-4 advantage in shots on goal, not to mention numerous Mountie chances that went just wide or high of frame. click for more
Nora Schoeny, Gianna Love and Elyssa Scrimo Sunday led the Lenox girls cross country team to a narrow victory in the Division 2 race at the Western Massachusetts Championships at Stanley Park. click for more
Wahconah High senior Tim Kaley Sunday earned his second Berkshire Classic Championship by shooting a 77 at the Country Club of Pittsfield. click for more
